Some facts I've learned throughout the past week:
One. Sleep is just something I no longer do. All college students seem to have this desperate need for rest all throughout the day, yet can't seem to find time or desire to catch a few hours sometime during the week. I think I might average about 4 hours a night? Most of us get less.
Two. I am still very much not allowed to do things I have urges to do. I used to think college was a time to eat chips and text while learning. Kind of like watching The History Channel while playing on an etch a sketch or something. However, from personal experience, I've learned Professors do not prefer this option and also are not shy is telling you that. In front of everyone.
Three. I did not need to enroll for Intro to Fitness. Mostly because I park in Never land and am forgetful for what I need to bring to class. Because of this I take unexpected jogs back to my car quite frequently.
Four. I do not have school Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I GO to school Monday, Wednesday, Friday, but every other living moment of my life is reading an economics book or practicing algebra. I always have school. It's like an unwanted tattoo or a wart that is placed on the top of your nose so that you always can see it in the corner of your eye.
This isn't to say I hate college. Actually it's just the opposite. I much prefer it to High School. The classes are more time consuming, but it's stuff I want to learn, things I'm going to need to know in the very near future. So it's not like I don't have fun when I'm there.
You know that first day of school feeling you get? Where you are going to do every homework assignment and have perfect attendance because you are just so excited for the school year? I get that bad. When I got home, still injected with the first day syndrome, I spent four hours reading my economics book. I went to Wal-Mart and bought cute pastel sticky notes for "responsive reading", made myself complete four practice quizzes, and learned the first chapter of "Microeconomics for Today!" by heart. Ask me a question about Marginal Analysis. I dare you.
After gaining my newly found knowledge, I felt like class would be a little monotonous, because I'd basically already studied everything. So coming into class yesterday, I got out my water, leaned the seat back, and started doodling in my notebook.
Then the Professor started talking.
And he began to mention stuff I hadn't read in the book.
WHAT NONSENCE WAS THIS?
I began flipping through my pencil bag to find highlighters and scribble down notes. The guy next to me must have been having the same problem because he kept looking at my notebook to see what I had written down. Guess he chose the wrong "Economic Expert" to sit by. The Professor told us not to worry, all his PowerPoint slides would be online late for us to copy down. Guess he's used to unprepared college kids.
I was just so baffled though. I had read and practiced everything from the first chapter. All of it! And somehow there was still more to learn. And my Professor had it down. Maybe because this is my first semester and he's taught for numerous years? Eh. Or maybe I'm just dumb.
Disclaimer: In the next section of this, I am NOT saying my Professor is the Devil. Excluding his somewhat distasteful joke yesterday, I really like the guy. He's an older Pilipino man who never lets the smile go off his face. I like seeming him bop around the halls, it makes me grin.
But, here's story number two. And a connection I made.
About a week before school started God was giving me all these ideas. Project after project, revelation after revelation, and challenges that got me pumped. This sounds like such a good thing. But I started getting that overwhelmed feeling I know too well. I was in my car praying and thinking about everything. Finally I just went a little crazy and vented it out. "God I know these are all cool things, but it's just too much and I don't want to do any of it!" Temper tantrum at its finest. I'm still amazed at God's grace with me.
The more I reflected on what I had just said, the more humiliated I became. I started thinking of each idea He'd placed in my head, the situations He'd put in front of me, and realized I hadn't done a darn thing with any of them. Why was I feeling so overwhelmed? The God that lead the Israelites out of Egypt was helping me out. Certainly that's enough backup.
Then, thank goodness, I got a heavy revy.
Satan is manipulative.
Here God was, providing me with endless opportunities of how I can help others, and the Devil was sneakily whispering in my ear that before I started on one task, I needed to finish the other, but that one would be road blocked until I got this over here done, and that even if I wanted to do such and such I should be putting more energy into watchca call it. I shouldn't even attempt so and so because problem 897 was way bigger, but for that I'd first have to finish my other issue I had going on.
It was a never ending cycle of nausea, not knowing where to begin, and in essence, not accomplishing a darn thing.
I just sat there kind of baffled. He'd done it. Satan had really pulled one over on me, tricking me into giving up multiple opportunities, hiding them with the mask of having to have perfection.
I guess I always kind of thought of Satan as easy to spot. You know, the whole sexual temptation, wanting to lie and gossip type of trickster. But he's way more in-depth than that. And you know what? Compared to him, I'm kind of an idiot.
Because Alonnah has been doing her life for 18 years. I've had 18 years to study the Bible, to practice it up, and figure out the odds and ends of this all. And I'd thought I'd learned a decent amount.
But Satan's had, oh I don't know, since before creation? That's at least over 6,000 years. He's had a lot more time to figure out how to play the game than I have.
Just like one day of my Economics class compared to the countless days and weeks and semesters my Professor has had in comparison. It's stupid to think he wouldn't know more than me.
I guess I was expecting it to be more like me walking down a road and the Devil was going to be holding a pitchfork with a sign saying "I have cookies, come get some little girl!" But I would obviously see him and say "No! I've got Jesus!"
Pretty sticking naïve.
Because the closer to God we get, the more cunning Satan has to try to be. He's not going to see us getting closer to his enemy and be like "Oh you love God? That's cool. I kinda hate Him with everything in my being, but if you want to be just like Him, won't bother me none!" No. He will up his game to try to snag us.
Realizing this didn't make me depressed or frustrated. At first I was a little peeved he'd got me, but I began to quickly understand this just meant I needed to constantly be with the one who trumps Satan. Because if Satan is the Professor, God is the Dean.
Satan doesn't ignore you when you become a Christian. That's never the case. But, it just means we have to keep fighting. You never see a knight in a sword fight lay down his shield because he just didn't feel like holding it anymore. He needs that thing. And we need to be proactive in reading the Bible. And praying. And one on one time with God. And worship. We need truth, righteousness, readiness for the gospel of peace. In every situation we need faith. Then we can extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one. We need salvation and God's word. (Ephesians 6:14-18)
If you haven't had your Bible time yet today, I encourage you to read all of Ephesians 6. It talks a ton about this stuff. One of my favorite verses from there, which actually sums up this entire blog post, is Eph 6:18:
With every prayer and request, pray at all time in the Spirit, and stay alert in this, with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints.
Live without pretense. Love. Drink more water. Stay alert.
A. Diez
In case you're in the mood to go armor shopping-
Helmet of Salvation: Romans 13:11-14, Hebrews 5:1-10, Philippians 4:1-9,
Breastplate of Righteousness: Romans 6:15-23, Philippians 3:1-11
Shield of Faith: 1 Corinthians 15:1-34, Hebrews 12:1-2, Romans 10:1-14
Belt of Truth: John7:30-47, Ephesians 4:1-16, John 14:1-6
Sword of the Spirit: 2 Timothy 3:10-17, John 6: 60-71
Shoes of Preparation: 2 Corinthians 9, Galatians 5:16-26
