-First job.
-First time I cut my leg shaving.
-First break-up.
-First impressions. With anyone.
-First cavity.
-First time I tried a Pinterest idea.
-First foundation I bought.
-First time I got gas for my car.
-First track race I ran.
-First day of first grade.
-First time I got pulled over.
It's safe to say, I'm not big on firsts. In fact, some days I wish we could just skip "Hello" and go right into what we're going to say to the person. Introduction is not my strong suite. I just feel like there's so much pressure. Because you only get a first time once.
I recently had my first day at a new internship. I love the internship, and I'm so excited to dive into everything, but I hate first days, in general. I tend to get a little awkward, and feel ill at ease. My friend explained to a few people, "She's just nervous. It's her first day."
I wish we could have first weeks. Then I feel like I'd have enough time to improve. "It's my first week. Sorry I botched up your order." Or, "Please remind me your name!" "Don't worry, it's your first week!"
The reason we, at least I do, need first weeks, is because we mess up. Constantly. I'm not trying to be all pessimistic here, I'm just pointing our we're human. Which bring me to the end of my rambling- my main point.
Almost.
Rewind time.
Junior year.
Most of you probably aren't aware, but Junior year did not start off good for me. To keep it simple, many people I looked up to started making very poor decisions. I lost a lot of those I loved and admired, due to human stupidity and selfishness.
And I started doubting God.
Now, I did a lot of searching, and if you want to hear more about that you'll have to Facebook me. But tonight I want to focus on one conversation, one point, that was brought up to me during this.
Hey, Dad.
We were in my dad's den. I believe I was sitting on the floor crying and he was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. I told him I was having issues trusting God. It seemed like any time someone was a Christian or became a Christian in my life, it turned into pretense. It wouldn't last, or they gave up, or they really weren't passionate about it at all. And here are the words of Daddy Diez. (The way I remember them, again, the quotation marks technically probably shouldn't be there.)
"I'm sorry all this is happening to you, you've had a lot of people let you down. And that's hard. But that's not God's fault- that's theirs. And your relationship with God should be based on Him, not on your friends or boyfriends or family or anyone. People will let you down. I'll try not to, and I'm sorry if I do, but I might end up letting you down as well. But you're faith shouldn't be in people, it should be in God."
This concept didn't take me too long to catch on to. But tonight I realized something. Visa versa time! When people do awesome things, we can't forget to thank God. For guiding them, putting them in our lives, letting us experience the repurcussions of their awesomeness.
In all seriousness, God is good. I never want to let the people around me change my idea of Him, because that is them being human. And God isn't human. That's why He's God. It sounds so simple, but I think we are guilty of so many times blaming God for what others do.
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION TIME!!! :D
Start giving God credit where it's do. Stop blaming him for other's mistakes. Spend more time with Him so we can have godly awesomeness pour out of our pores.
Finished! Have a good first week at whatever you're doing.
Live without pretense. Love. Drink more water.
-A.Diez
