Marco? Polo?

You have every right to think I'm irresponsible.

Because in this story I was.

I knew I was supposed to work Friday, and I knew the shift was going to be long. I knew we were going to be busy, and that everyone was scheduled that day. The only thing I didn't know was what time I actually worked. And why, might you ask? Because I'd lost my schedule.

The thing is, I have a bad habit of this- losing things. Especially when it's important information. So you'd think at this point I would've started making copies of stuff, or at least a designated spot for things of significance. But when I looked around the room, I didn't see it.

Reason number two I was irresponsible- I couldn't see my floor.

Now I do need to clear some things up, I am not a messy person. In fact, excluding my car, I have become almost 100% clutter free over the past couple years. But I also have this bad habit of biting off more than I can chew. And even though I was already scheduled for more hours than I ever had worked before, and even though I already had a trip to Washington DC planned that week, I spent an evening at track practice, had two sleepovers, went out to eat with friends, and took a shopping trip.

Needless to say, cleaning my room didn't take top priority.

So here I am, standing in this pile of clothes, papers, and books I've been planning to read, as I look around for my schedule. I weighed my options. Call and admit how foolish I had been or clean my room.

First wise decision of this story- I cleaned my room.

And it was not what I expected.

I figured I would pick up a couple shirts and- poof!- there it would be, happily lying underneath a few items. Wrong. Every time I saw a paper folded up, I'd lunge towards it, only to find a folded up schedule from previous weeks.

I ended up cleaning my entire room. Because it  had been in my car.

However, I was feeling significantly more productive at this point. Something I'd needed to get done, definitely a necessary at the time, something I'd been blatantly ignoring, was finally completed. And then I realized, if I would've found my schedule a few minutes into it, I would've stopped cleaning the moment I knew where it was.

 And I wouldn't have gotten done what I needed to get done.

Sometimes I think we need to have that motivation from something that is out of our grasp. Whether it's the lack of an answer that makes us keep searching or the absence of peace, I started to think, maybe there's a reason God doesn't give us things- even if they're good things- sometimes.

 

 

Because I think, some things we have to experience. And God knows that sometimes if we find what we're looking for we'll stop growing and never reach the point He wants us to get to.

I know in my life, the points I've been closest to God were the times I felt like I'd lost the most world-wise. I felt so empty and like I'd lost so much and I just couldn't understand why God wouldn't give me something to replace what had been taken from me. I was searching for a replacement of my lost item. But God knew that during that time, I was leaning on Him. I had to- He was the only stable thing I had. And if I had found my "replacement" that would have become my void-filler instead of God. And I believe if that would've happened, I would not have the same relationship I had with Jesus Christ as I do now.

 

But I think this works with things besides being lonely. Just last weekend, I was really frustrated with God because I wasn't able to understand one of His commandments. I spent quite a decent amount of my night arguing back and forth with myself, and then finally got mad. He said if I searched I'd find the answer. Well here I was meditating and all I'd gotten was a headache. Since I hadn't figured out what I was pondering, I flipped open the Bible I'd been too "busy" for that day. And I realized again, if God would have given me future insight, I probably wouldn't have even spent time in His word that night.

 

But Scenario 3 is really where it's hard. Because it's about the part we don't see- the future. I know there are a few things I don't understand. There just are. And I'm still searching and praying for even a mini revelation. But it's just not there. And I think it's because sometimes that's part of God's plan.

There's this really cool story in the Bible (1 Samuel 29) where David had left his home to live with the Philistines. Then, the Philistines went to war against Israel and David was getting ready to fight on the Philistine side. However, some of the Philistines began doubting David's loyalty to them, and then asked him not to fight with them.

 

To David, it probably seemed like a slap in the face. I can almost picture him going, "What the heck God? Here I am trying to prove myself and now I don't get the chance. If you can't make them change their minds would you at least tell me why!"

 

But David couldn't know why. Because it wasn't time for that yet.

 

The real reason why, was because David was going to be KING of Israel. But if he would have fought against the Israelites, that never would have happened.

 

To sum this up, be encouraged if you can't find what you're looking for right now. Sometimes it's the search that ends up meaning more that what you actually were searching for.

 

Live without pretense. Love. Drink more water. Trust God to open (and close) your eyes to the things you need to see (or not see.)

A.Diez.

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The coolest thing I'd never realized.

For those of you who haven't heard, there's this really cool book that's been published for teen girls called The Waiting Room. It gives advice to young women regarding their relationship with God, boys, and how the two inter-twine. But you know what the coolest thing about this book is?
I know the author.

Which pretty much makes me a stud.
Seriously. When girls in my youth group started talking about it, I was all like "Jess? Yeah, she's awesome. We're tight. I've played Taboo at her house before. No big deal." I've let my cousin borrow the book, but not before I mentioned that I was Facebook friends with the girl on the cover.

And let me tell you, being friends with the author has it's benefits. I know the back story to where she's coming from, I've been able to hear about how she got to the deep relationship and insight she has with God now. I've been able to talk with her, about her own writing! I also got the book for free- which was nice.

So I was thinking a few nights ago, wondering if my cousin had read Jessica's book yet. And then of course I started thinking about how neat it was to know the author of an actual book.
And then, as the guys at church say, I experienced some "heavy revy". (Guys, if I used this term the wrong way I apologize.)

I already knew an author of a book before. The minute I accepted Christ into my life, I had a personal relationship with the author of the Bible. How crazily awesome is that?! And it was funny how much it baffled me, because I always kind of took it for granted- being able to talk to God whenever I wanted. But after being so honored to get to know Jessica, author of The Waiting Room, I realized just how privileged I am to have not only the author of the Bible, not only the person with enough power to save people from damnation, but the Creator of the universe by my side whenever I pray, listening to me and actually caring about what I say.
That's crazy.

 

Now I'm going to switch gears just a little here. For the past two years I've been really struggling with grasping exactly who the Holy Spirit is, and what He does, and what exactly that means for me.

Here's my best sum up of my conclusion- the Holy Spirit is the version of God that is IN us. Like when we KNOW what the right thing is, the GODLY thing, to do is, that's because of the Holy Spirit. It's the part of God that we get to keep with us.

It's kind of like the present day version of Jesus. The apostles got to have the Son of God with them, helping them know what to do. We get the Holy Ghost.

 

 

So now the quote from Francis Chan comes in. "The God of the universe- the creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and e-minor- loves us with a radical unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? We go to church, sing song, and try not to cuss."

 

Almost. First I have to set myself up for an analogy. :)

 

Growing up I had a best friend named Ashley. Ashley was my number one fan at school, and any time I wanted to argue something with someone or race someone on the track or even just do awesome with a classroom presentation I did awesome with her around for support.

But when she wasn't there, I didn't have my usual confidence. Because it's easier with two.

 

And that's how it is when we have the Holy Spirit with us. We're two. Which would make everything a little less scary anyways. But then add the fact that one of those two is GOD, well, that makes even the impossible seem probable.

Okay, NOW for the Francis Chan quote. If we have a God that loves us and cares for us and is PART of us, why are we settling? We can do so much more than the typical "go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss."

 

And now, because I haven't mentioned him enough already, I'm going to end with one more Francis Chan quote:

"What are you doing right now that requires faith?"

 

Live without pretense. Love. Drink more water. Expect God to move mountains.
A. Diez



Cooking tips from yours truly.

Girls, I will not be home for dinner. You can make whatever is in the frig. -Mom

UUUUGGGGGGGGHHH!
That would be my mature reaction to the note I found laying on our kitchen table.

If I was to make a list of the top ten things I do not enjoy doing, cooking would be on it.
Which is a bummer, considering eating is one of my favorite things to do.

I was in major conflict with myself.

We didn't have any cereal, or instant maple oatmeal, or meat for a sand which-- all things that would have been easy, healthy, and fool-proof for my kitchen experience. I realized actual cooking (with a stove) was going to be my option for the night.

And I came to the sub conscious conclusion that I would wait until my hunger motivated me enough to cook something.

I made it to 4:30.

Hash browns. Healthy-ish, tasty, and the bag said they took ten minutes to make. I figured I could wait ten minutes.

I was wrong.

About three minutes in, I started really wanting food. I'd gone from "I'm bored so I want to eat" to simply "I WANT TO EAT!". Opening the pantry door I did something I never would have expected. I grabbed a Swiss Roll packet.

I'm not on a special diet or anything, but I became a mini health freak about four years ago. Fruits are great. Chocolate is limited. And when I have chocolate, it's because I want a treat. Not because I'm hungry.

Because it's unnecessary. And bad for me. And not something I want inside my body.
But because I was hungry, I ate it anyways.

And then I realized a parallel with my eating disaster.

Since I hadn't prepared the nutritious food before I got hungry, I settled for filling myself up with junk.

I think sometimes it's hard to read our Bible, because we aren't hungry or hurting all the time.
But if we aren't reading it, how are we going to be prepared when hard stuff gets thrown at us?
It's scary to think that we won't- we won't be prepared or ready or knowledgeable on how to handle what's going on in our life because we didn't plan for it ahead of time.

I know once I get something difficult thrown at me, all I can see is the difficulty. Everything else gets put on the back burner.
So when hard times occur, we kind of reach for whatever is closest to us, because it's the easiest thing to hold on to. And if that's God, we're good. But if we haven't been previously filling ourselves with God we could result in turning to junk to help fill us when we're empty.

Which sounds a little frightening, but it's not. If we prepare for it.

Something that's helped me, is that when I'm in a really restful place in my life, I like to pray that God will show me what He wants me to see, and then I read my Bible. I highlight verses that stick out to me and I guess make "responsive reading notes" (how proud would my English teachers be!). So then, when I'm running on empty, and need a quick fill to get me going, I can flip through my Bible and quickly find something that I've been filled with before.

Sadly, my story isn't completely over.

My hash browns didn't take 10 minutes to make. In fact, after ten minutes they weren't even getting towards the realm of crispy, and I was far past the realm of ticked off. That stupid package had lied to me while I was most vulnerable- hungry.
I began throwing a mini fit. "Why are these all clumping together and not browning?" "They're sticking to the pan and they look gross!" "These are taking FOREVER!"

Finally, my mom, who was now home at this point, heard my conniption and asked "Did you use butter?"

...

I'd thought it was a suggestion.


I really should have known better. To get the promised results, you have to follow the directions. Salt and pepper, those were suggestions. Butter- that one wasn't.

I've noticed it's gone that way with reading the Bible too. If I want all the promises God's given us, I need to follow His direction, not look at it as a suggestion.

When I first started cooking, I'd turned on the stove, flipped the hash browns, and waited for ten minutes. But still my food looked gross. I'd decided I only wanted to follow 3 out of the 4 instructions. And it doesn't work that way.

We don't get to pick and choose which parts of the Bible we want to follow. Otherwise that's not really following God at all. And we can't do that halfway.




Being a Christian will always be an all or nothing deal.
To quote Aladdin 3: Are you in or out?

Live without pretense. Love. Drink more water.
A.Diez.