UUUUGGGGGGGGHHH!
That would be my mature reaction to the note I found laying on our kitchen table.
If I was to make a list of the top ten things I do not enjoy doing, cooking would be on it.
Which is a bummer, considering eating is one of my favorite things to do.
I was in major conflict with myself.
We didn't have any cereal, or instant maple oatmeal, or meat for a sand which-- all things that would have been easy, healthy, and fool-proof for my kitchen experience. I realized actual cooking (with a stove) was going to be my option for the night.
And I came to the sub conscious conclusion that I would wait until my hunger motivated me enough to cook something.
I made it to 4:30.
Hash browns. Healthy-ish, tasty, and the bag said they took ten minutes to make. I figured I could wait ten minutes.
I was wrong.
About three minutes in, I started really wanting food. I'd gone from "I'm bored so I want to eat" to simply "I WANT TO EAT!". Opening the pantry door I did something I never would have expected. I grabbed a Swiss Roll packet.
I'm not on a special diet or anything, but I became a mini health freak about four years ago. Fruits are great. Chocolate is limited. And when I have chocolate, it's because I want a treat. Not because I'm hungry.
Because it's unnecessary. And bad for me. And not something I want inside my body.
But because I was hungry, I ate it anyways.
And then I realized a parallel with my eating disaster.
Since I hadn't prepared the nutritious food before I got hungry, I settled for filling myself up with junk.
I think sometimes it's hard to read our Bible, because we aren't hungry or hurting all the time.
But if we aren't reading it, how are we going to be prepared when hard stuff gets thrown at us?
It's scary to think that we won't- we won't be prepared or ready or knowledgeable on how to handle what's going on in our life because we didn't plan for it ahead of time.
I know once I get something difficult thrown at me, all I can see is the difficulty. Everything else gets put on the back burner.
So when hard times occur, we kind of reach for whatever is closest to us, because it's the easiest thing to hold on to. And if that's God, we're good. But if we haven't been previously filling ourselves with God we could result in turning to junk to help fill us when we're empty.
Which sounds a little frightening, but it's not. If we prepare for it.
Something that's helped me, is that when I'm in a really restful place in my life, I like to pray that God will show me what He wants me to see, and then I read my Bible. I highlight verses that stick out to me and I guess make "responsive reading notes" (how proud would my English teachers be!). So then, when I'm running on empty, and need a quick fill to get me going, I can flip through my Bible and quickly find something that I've been filled with before.
Sadly, my story isn't completely over.
My hash browns didn't take 10 minutes to make. In fact, after ten minutes they weren't even getting towards the realm of crispy, and I was far past the realm of ticked off. That stupid package had lied to me while I was most vulnerable- hungry.
I began throwing a mini fit. "Why are these all clumping together and not browning?" "They're sticking to the pan and they look gross!" "These are taking FOREVER!"
Finally, my mom, who was now home at this point, heard my conniption and asked "Did you use butter?"
...
I'd thought it was a suggestion.
I really should have known better. To get the promised results, you have to follow the directions. Salt and pepper, those were suggestions. Butter- that one wasn't.
I've noticed it's gone that way with reading the Bible too. If I want all the promises God's given us, I need to follow His direction, not look at it as a suggestion.
We don't get to pick and choose which parts of the Bible we want to follow. Otherwise that's not really following God at all. And we can't do that halfway.
Being a Christian will always be an all or nothing deal.
To quote Aladdin 3: Are you in or out?
Live without pretense. Love. Drink more water.
A.Diez.
